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Past Tense

by Infinite Me

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1.
I had a plan 04:17
The rain doesn't clean me or soothe me, it fills me till I overflow. This is what you get when I take what the sky prescribes, and I get lost at night swimming in the depths of your mind. If you're feeling on the fence, just think of me in past tense. At night I wait to swim until the night gets above freezing. I'll wait till no one can see me. I'll drown, maybe because I want to. But I bet I could swim to the other side. I bet I could do it in one stride. These lungs collapse when they want to. My feet touch the floor, I'll be level soon. Surrounding me and soothing, the more I drink the more I tend to sink. And I'll drown, maybe because I want to. Because of you, I need to. Just like the wind is in the trees. Just like the wind is in me.
2.
to wander. 03:39
Details don't make the facts clear but they don't take away from the canvas in my mind. I'm just standing too close. I can see every stroke. The way the brush lands hard on the line, fades out at the end. Feet dipped in paint, I dance in circles with my shadow on the wood floor of my first apartment, I point out every flaw in my feet work. Forever staining the trees under my feet, now I don't want to leave. These walls should have contained me to dancing in secrecy. Feet dipped in paint I'll wander and mark everywhere I have been. This world, my canvas, my existence is stained on her skin. I won't make any mistakes by standing in one place, but I'm all about the chase and I don't know if I can keep pace. Forget everything I know, just go with the flow and write down anything I don't understand to help me comprehend. Your words in my ears, your voice, it's like honey on my throat.
3.
Kept secret, 02:53
Balancing on the balls of my feet. Harboring the means to weep. Blink away the shadows in my eyes. In my retinas, pain learns to creep. See me sink and disappear into nothing more than paint smeared on the wood kept secret under carpet. No one wants me here. You stand unaware, fixing your hair. There's so much color in your blank stare. I created this distance between us for a reason. Don't pretend to care. Practicing my annunciation. Learning to dread patience. If all the words I could ever need were mine, I'd leave my thoughts somewhere easy for you to find.
4.
hiding out 03:59
Eyes on the floor, following the river between feet until I find the sandy walls. Close my eyes, feel the room with my fingertips. I feeI light switch, I found my threshold. I feel my ears ring, so its to this wall that I cling. Dip my toes in the water, but never with intention of diving in. Spaced out in conversation, I didn't listen to what you were saying. I had a plan to sway the room but I caved in. It's sand in my eyes, dust on my bones. The dirt under my fingernails speak mountains to what I've done. I learned how to sink before I learned how to float. So If I drown, know I found my peace resting out at sea alone. The linen turns to glass and I'm not standing far enough back. I can't erase ink from this page but If reading fast the words fade. Maybe I misspoke, maybe I choked on words that can never be revoked. I had a plan to sway the rooms perspective but I created this distance when I sank through the floor. I swear I'm on my way out the door. It's sand in my eyes, dust on my bones. The dirt under my fingernails speak mountains to what I've done. The trees don't shade me, thoughts of where I should be. But I've done my fair share of hiding out at sea. Don't look for me. Wake me up when I am everlasting. I can sleep through being afraid of each day. Why are my thoughts not precomposed in the corners of my mind you'll never go? Because I think only on me. Because I don't have anywhere to be. Because I am always lonely.
5.
at sea. 03:56
Reaching to taste the fruit I don't deserve, their skins filling the gaps in my teeth. My thirst takes a new form with every bite I steal. It wasn't gifted to me. I just took what I'd need to feast in privacy. I feel no remorse, it almost always feels forced. I just let this habit run its course. I'm filled with fear, but there's a whisper in my ear. I'm not so ready to be sincere. I don't think I can commit to every single life strand that I've designed. My life with you in mind so I swear I'll try to give it time and hopefully I can bury the thoughts in little wooden box in the back of my mind in the furthest corner and put it behind. Weeds consume the tree just to be a tease they drink everything right where I can see. They cut the buds off of the stems of flowers so they can never reach beyond weeds again. My garden will soon only wield parasites that itch at my bare feet as I stumble around in this thick heat. I need water to replenish me. With veins empty, intensely thirsty, looking for the colors I need the pedals of my bouquet to be, to be happy, to be me. But the earth created me and one day she'll claim my energy. She'll snuff me out, rubbing me into the dirt. Like the short of my cigarette so will I meet the heel of her boot. But it's my will to be my end.

about

MUSIC VIDEO for "to wander." HERE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=25oEdOy7lNg

"Most remarkable about Infinite Me's sound and presentation is the way their songs wrap themselves around you like a blanket and pull you into a dream-like state. However, this dreamy quality would be impotent and powerless were it not for the constant darkness and introspective grief which the band portrays. This dual-potency of the surreal and the sorrowful combines during their set to recreate the unreality of the dream world with stunning accuracy - images flit by, people and places come and go, and all the while consciousness contemplates it's loneliness and singularity from within a dark emotional space which one leaves every morning at the bedside."

credits

released April 23, 2016

All songs recorded live in a room on January 21st by Infinite Me. Engineered and mixed by Jeremy Tappero at Pound Sound Studios in St. Paul, MN. Mastered by Jeff Leber. Art and design by Alexis Politz.

Additional vocals on "hiding out" by Brandon Carrigan and "at sea." by Paul Shaffer.

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Infinite Me Minneapolis, Minnesota

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